Stuck in a Rut or Midlife Pause? How to Tell the Difference

There’s something about this time of year.
The long light. The halfway point. The quiet hum beneath all the doing.

We’ve just passed the summer solstice; a moment that invites us to pause, to turn inward, and really listen. I marked it with my women’s circle, sitting together, sharing stories, and letting ourselves be witnessed. Then, just days later, I held a Breathwork for Wellbeing workshop, guiding others through the sacred pause to feel into what supports their journey to wellness.

These events have landed so synchronistically...

Because honestly? I feel like I’m right there myself.

Not just because it’s midyear.

But because something deeper is shifting.

Hormonally.
Emotionally.
Professionally.
Spiritually.

(Let’s be real: you can’t shift one part of your life without the others asking to evolve too… and yet this still catches me off guard)

It’s blurry. Tender. Strange.

It reminds me of the snake…  just before she sheds her skin. Her vision clouds. 

She retreats. 

Everything feels uncertain. 

But it’s part of the process. 

The soft, sacred undoing before the re-emergence.
(Sidenote: after a recent discussion with one of my friends I decided my witchy pet would definitely be a snake. Allergic to cats, so the choice is clear.)

This space… the in-between… isn’t always comfortable. 

We’re wired to want clarity, direction, action. 

We live in a world that demands decisiveness regardless of readiness.

But what if the pause isn’t a problem to fix?
What if it’s where something wiser is already starting to take shape?

Not a new creation… but a deep remembering.

So if you’ve felt the pull to slow down, to recalibrate, to reassess what matters; this is your invitation.

Not to set new goals.
Not to force yourself forward.
But simply to stop, breathe, and honour exactly where you are.

Because sometimes… the most radical thing we can do is stay present in the not-knowing.

When the Pause Feels Like a Problem

There’s a hard truth that most of us will face in any journey of self development…

This space… between what was and what’s next… can be disorienting.

It’s the part of the journey we rarely talk about: the maintenance phase, the plateau, the liminal space where we’re no longer in crisis or striving… but we’re not quite in bloom either.

And it can feel like failure.

In coaching, I often compare this season to the “maintenance phase” of a health and fitness journey.

Not because it’s about weight loss or strength training (although these are valid and valuable points you may have travelled through or are exploring), but because it mirrors the cycle of momentum, pause, and potential sabotage.

You’ve made changes. You’ve gained insight. But now you’re in the quiet and often messy middle.
No major crisis. No exciting breakthrough.
Just… now.

And when we don’t trust that space, we self-sabotage.
We set new goals just to feel productive.
We pick apart our progress because it’s not dramatic enough.
We confuse rest with laziness, stillness with stagnation.

But here’s the truth: sustainable change happens beneath the surface.
In the quiet.
In the stillness.
In the moments where we choose to hold ourselves steady instead of scrambling for the next fix.

This is where the true integration happens.

Not in the dramatic transformation… but in compassionate consistency.
The nervous system recalibration.
The identity softening.
The whisper of, “This is who I really am.”

This isn’t just about health or weight. You might recognise it in other areas too:

• You’ve resolved to leave the toxic job, but haven’t found the next thing.

• You’ve stepped away from old patterns, but haven’t sensed your new rhythm yet.

• You’ve slowed down your schedule to protect your energy, but now feel anxious in the stillness.

This is the part where you ask, “Is it safe to stay here?”
And your old patterns will try to say no.

But This Time… You Can Choose Differently

This is what I help women discern.

The difference between stuckness and sacred pause.
Between stagnation and recalibration.
Between numbing out… and tuning in.

Because you can hold steady… without slipping back into the old ways.

You can let your nervous system settle… without needing to explain or perform.

You can trust that something is shifting.. even if you don’t know what it is yet.

And if you need a little help staying grounded while everything feels uprooted?

Allow me to share a few of my practices that might help.

Anchor Your Midyear Pause: Simple Practices

You don’t need a spreadsheet or a five-step framework to do a midyear review (that says a lot coming from a Virgo rising).
You need space.
And honesty.
And a willingness to meet yourself where you are.

Here are some self care supports I return to again and again which I often guide my clients through too:

1. Walk & Scribble

Let your body move. Let your thoughts wander. It’s not often I’ll leave the house without a pen and something to scribble on (there is actual science behind walking and thought processing).

Then sit with a journal and explore:

• What’s felt good this year?

• What’s felt heavy?

• What are you proud of… even if no one else knows?

This isn’t about achievement. It’s about awareness.

2. Breathe Into the Pause

Try this:
Inhale for 5, exhale for 5, repeat once, 6 times or even for 2-3 minutes.
 

The breath reminds you: you are safe... you are here.

This is nervous system regulation at its simplest and most powerful.

This is Coherence Breathing (you can watch a demo on Youtube here).

3. Check Your Inner Dialogue

Ask yourself:

• Am I mistaking the pause for failure?

• Am I calling quiet “lazy”?

• Am I rushing to prove my worth again?
  

This is your moment to rewrite the story.

You are not stuck.
You are not broken.
You are not behind.

You are in the pause between identities.
And that is sacred.

This Is the Work

The pause isn’t punishment.
It’s a proving ground not of worth, but of willingness.
Willingness to stay.
To feel.
To not rush your own remembering.

(Think Great British Bake Off kind of proving… too long in the warm oven and the bread becomes soggy and sour; not enough and it fails to rise to its true potential).

As a coach, this is what I hold space for.
I stay beside women as they sit in the fog: frustrated, unsure, afraid they’ve lost their way; I help them hold steady.

Because what I’ve seen, again and again, is this:

💛 Beneath the discomfort, new clarity is forming.
💛 Beneath the restlessness, nervous systems are rewiring.
💛 Beneath the quiet, a more aligned path is whispering its way forward.

You don’t need to have it all figured out.
But if you had the right support to stay present long enough… I wonder what would feel real and ready to emerge for you?

Ready to Be Held Through Your In-Between?

If you’re sitting in your own season of shift; feeling foggy, unsure, or on the cusp of something you can’t quite name… you don’t have to figure it all out alone.

Book a Clarity Call
Let’s sit in the quiet together.
Not to fix, but to feel.
Not to rush, but to gently root.

This is a space to breathe, reflect, and tune into what’s next, from a place of presence, not pressure.

Book your free clarity call here

Because your next step doesn’t need to be dramatic.
It just needs to be true.

Wishing you strength and ease... take care